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User blog:AkioTheTwo/Derp Chronociles
Adventures of Bean One day, Bean was created by a seed that a farmer planted in rural Illinois, and as one bean miraculously jumped out of the twig the bean was growing on, the bean ran for its life to escape being canned. And as the bean was running away onto a subway entrance, it went on the subway, hoping it would take him south into Chicago. As he hoped, it entered downtown Chicago. Bean ran again until he found a small hole on thw ground. He then slept there for the next week. With no water and no food, he want to the local supermarket and drank some water and bit into some apples. Bean then ran again into his Home. He then found a truck holding crates of canned beans. Bean went to save his fellow beans, the driver was listening to music, so he couldn't hear bean opening the crate. He asked that all beans jumped to take off the lid. They were successful and all of the beans managed to escape. That was the end of Beans first day as an escapee. Day Two As Bean expected, he was alone. He then realized that he had ran off, on his own, for his own protection. His memories of his dead parents had overwhelmed the small bean, when he was walking on the sidewalk, a car had run over his parents, he tried mercilessly to call for help, but nobody was around, he saw his parents say their final words, "Remember, we will never fight until the end." As Bean saw his parents slowly dying, he cried helplessly. He always remembered to listen to his parents, and always did his best until there is no more. Bean then walked slowly, depressed, and emotional towards a hotel. He then walked under the door, and saw that it was closed. He immediately ran up to a empty room, and he enjoyed himself. He was happy to have a humongous room all to himself, despite hurting himself to get off the bed. As midnight approached, he heard three people come closer to the empty room, he then saw a male and a female enter the room. Bean hid under the bed. He then stood up all night to hear what the male and female were talking about. He then fell asleep during a conversation. This marked the end of Bean's second day. Day Three As Bean was awoken by the couple's movement, Bean decided to take a break and he walked around the hotel, just wandering into rooms, and spying on occupants. As he became more and more bored, he met a bean, she was also an escapee of the same farm bean escaped from. He knew her, she was Claudette. Both of them knew each other since they were born. As he walked near Claudette, both of them decided to talk about their adventure, and how they could work together as partners in crime. And after that, they soon became friends. When night approached, Claudette showed Bean where she was staying in. And then, Bean helped Claudette clean her small home, and they both slept. As Bean slept, Claudette was planning something special for Bean. Day Four Bean, who he was startled in his sleep, found out that he was actually named Derp. He was called "bean" because he was always a bean. And that's how he always looked like. And now, he had to tell Claudette about his name. "Hey Claudette," Derp stated, "I need to tell you something." "Yes?" Claudette replied. "I, erm, need to tell you something." Derp noticed Claudette was acting strange. "What is it?" Claudette walked towards Derp. "My name isn't Bean." Derp stuttered. "Mmmmmm." Claudette said, as he walked near Derp. Derp, was looking perplexed. He never expected Claudette walking up to him, in a strange, and in a tiny romantic way. "What is your name?" Claudette requested. "My name, is, Derp." Claudette stopped, and he leaned into Derp's ear and gave him a kiss. Derp immediately blushed and looked at Claudette romanticly. "What was that?" Derp said. "A kiss, its what you desvere for being a good boy, and for helping me pass the finals." Claudette reminded. "Uhh, you're welcome?" Derp questioned. "You're welcome sweet cheeks." Claudette stated. Claudette then walked out of the small home, leaving Derp. And as this ended the romantic moment for Derp, he felt love with her. He hoped that he would get to see Claudette again, as he felt sleepy, he walked to his clock sized bed, and slept there, this moment won't be forgotten, until they see each other again. Day Five Derp remembering that day, was reading a book about bees, and he read this paragraph, which made him realize something, "According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible." "Why does that sound like from a movie?" Derp thought. As Derp closed the bee book, he found Claudette's TV, and watched the local news station. "Speaking of unhealthy foods Aaron, farmers are suprised by, walking and talking beans. We have Jim Walker at The Metropolis Farm with details, Jim." The woman said. "Yes indeed Rachel, Michael, the head farmer, has never seen anything like this before." "I was just pluckin' some carrots off 'em dirt, and then, I see some walking beans. I went to take a photo of this, but them beans just ran away." "This only appears to be in Illinois, as beans are walking down the streets, alleys, and possibly anywhere, you will find a bean somewhere. CNB news, Jim, back to you at the studio." As Derp turned off the TV, he remembered his girlfriend, Mary. They were still in a relationship, but they were across the country. Derp then went to call Mary. "Hey Mary, its me, Derp." "Oh hey, what's up?" "There are more beans like us, it's only in Chicago, if you get here, that would be awesome." "I'll see what I can do." Mary then hung up on Derp, as Derp finished the call, he saw that his home was shaking, he ran under a table and found out that there had been an earthquake in downtown Chicago. He heard yells and screams in the home. Derp tried frantically to stay calm, and he managed to do so. As the earthquake ended, he saw that most of the skyscrapers were heavily damaged. As night falled, Derp wanted to get a head start to tell Mary the special news. Category:Blog posts